And One More Thing...
Many of you may or may not know, but I submitted the resignation from my job two weeks ago.
It was an extremely tough decision to make, but at the end of the day when I think about my precious baby being in day care for 10-12 hours a day, I couldn't do it. I am blessed to even have the option of staying at home, but it still came with a lot of mixed emotions. I really enjoyed what I did and the people I worked with, which is rare from the past experiences I've had. But, with a minimum 2 hour RT commute alone, Ava would have been entrusted to daycare from 6:30am to 6:30pm each day. At the moment where her bedtime is roughly between 7-8pm, we would hardly ever see her except maybe at bath time!
At the amazingly quick rate she's been growing, I can't imagine missing any of her wonderful milestones I've already been privileged to witness - smiling, laughing, rolling over (just this morning!), and even babbling. I never thought I would be this attached and even obsessed over Ava, but I am. I never even really gave staying at home a second thought, but I'm so glad I did.
Yesterday would have been the last day of my maternity leave and had I chosen to go back to work, I would be sitting at my old desk right this minute crying over how much I miss Ava. Instead, I am enjoying my morning cup of coffee, watching the news, and most importantly cuddling and spending time with my precious baby girl. This, I wouldn't trade for the world.
And for those of you who think staying at home is a cake walk, get-out-of-jail-free card - it's not. Raising a child and taking care of the household has been, by far, the most challenging job I've ever had. Don't get me wrong, I had the bias myself that a stay-at-home mom was lazy or had it easy. WRONG!
I wake up the same time if not earlier than when I was working and my day never seems to end - one just rolls into the next since there are no defined hours. But regardless of the challenges, it is also the most rewarding and fulfilling job I've ever had. I'm living my life not only for myself, but for someone else. I have every reason now to wake up at the crack of dawn to play, sing, and read to a little unformed being that is like a dry sponge waiting to soak up every ounce of the world. I'm more active than before and love the fact that my usual runs to the park or strolls around the neighborhood are not just for me. I'm spending time with my daughter and showing her the world. We run together and she stares wide-eyed at everything around her breathing in the fresh air and feeling the wind in her face. And only recently did I discover this neat little wooden deck hidden away at the park I regularly run to. I never knew it existed as my runs were just another thing to check off my list of things to do, another workout to accomplish.
Now, I try to slow down and take my time to "smell the roses" and appreciate the things around me. I mean, how could I have not ever known about the wooden deck at a park I ran to 3-5 times a week for the past 2 years?! I guess when you put your headphones on, blast the music and just forge ahead with one foot in front of the other, the world just blurs by. I don't want to overlook another "wooden deck", so with my favorite running partner at my side, I choose to take my headphones off and enjoy the world with her.
Ava has brought so much meaning and depth to my life in so many different ways and I strive to be a better person each day for her. Staying at home to raise my daughter and take care of my family is my first priority and job now, if anyone wants to know. And I'm damn proud of it too.
It was an extremely tough decision to make, but at the end of the day when I think about my precious baby being in day care for 10-12 hours a day, I couldn't do it. I am blessed to even have the option of staying at home, but it still came with a lot of mixed emotions. I really enjoyed what I did and the people I worked with, which is rare from the past experiences I've had. But, with a minimum 2 hour RT commute alone, Ava would have been entrusted to daycare from 6:30am to 6:30pm each day. At the moment where her bedtime is roughly between 7-8pm, we would hardly ever see her except maybe at bath time!
At the amazingly quick rate she's been growing, I can't imagine missing any of her wonderful milestones I've already been privileged to witness - smiling, laughing, rolling over (just this morning!), and even babbling. I never thought I would be this attached and even obsessed over Ava, but I am. I never even really gave staying at home a second thought, but I'm so glad I did.
Yesterday would have been the last day of my maternity leave and had I chosen to go back to work, I would be sitting at my old desk right this minute crying over how much I miss Ava. Instead, I am enjoying my morning cup of coffee, watching the news, and most importantly cuddling and spending time with my precious baby girl. This, I wouldn't trade for the world.
And for those of you who think staying at home is a cake walk, get-out-of-jail-free card - it's not. Raising a child and taking care of the household has been, by far, the most challenging job I've ever had. Don't get me wrong, I had the bias myself that a stay-at-home mom was lazy or had it easy. WRONG!
I wake up the same time if not earlier than when I was working and my day never seems to end - one just rolls into the next since there are no defined hours. But regardless of the challenges, it is also the most rewarding and fulfilling job I've ever had. I'm living my life not only for myself, but for someone else. I have every reason now to wake up at the crack of dawn to play, sing, and read to a little unformed being that is like a dry sponge waiting to soak up every ounce of the world. I'm more active than before and love the fact that my usual runs to the park or strolls around the neighborhood are not just for me. I'm spending time with my daughter and showing her the world. We run together and she stares wide-eyed at everything around her breathing in the fresh air and feeling the wind in her face. And only recently did I discover this neat little wooden deck hidden away at the park I regularly run to. I never knew it existed as my runs were just another thing to check off my list of things to do, another workout to accomplish.
Now, I try to slow down and take my time to "smell the roses" and appreciate the things around me. I mean, how could I have not ever known about the wooden deck at a park I ran to 3-5 times a week for the past 2 years?! I guess when you put your headphones on, blast the music and just forge ahead with one foot in front of the other, the world just blurs by. I don't want to overlook another "wooden deck", so with my favorite running partner at my side, I choose to take my headphones off and enjoy the world with her.
Ava has brought so much meaning and depth to my life in so many different ways and I strive to be a better person each day for her. Staying at home to raise my daughter and take care of my family is my first priority and job now, if anyone wants to know. And I'm damn proud of it too.
posted by dabump at
7:04 AM
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