Vent

At this moment, it is around 7:45am on a dreary Wednesday morning and I have been up for the past 2 hours due to...could it be, contractions?! Last night was the first night in a long time that I was actually able to sleep for more than a 2 hour stretch. I got up ONCE at 3am to use the bathroom and went right back to bed...totally not the norm that has been my sleeping habit for the past 10 weeks or so. I woke up to get ready for work, only to notice I had intense pain on the right side of my abdomen/pelvis. I thought the pain was due to the way I had possibly slept, but it kept coming and going as I was putting on my make-up and getting ready. I went through my mental checklist of all the things I could do to make it stop and it's still coming regularly. So just to be extra sure, I called the doctor, told them what I'm feeling and they asked me to come in to the hospital. Rather than jump the gun and be one of those women who go in for false labor, I want to remain home for a while and see if it eases up or stops altogether. So far, not good. I'm still feeling something....

And to my vent...

Although I am overjoyed and excited at the possibility that I may be able to meet my daughter today, I am also extremely frustrated and overwhelmed by the feeling that I have taken on too much to handle. What I mean when I say this is the fact that I am afraid that I will now have 2 babies to take care of - babymo and my husband.

To his defense, he has been as helpful as HE can be, offering to massage my back, take out the trash, or walk the dog. But for the most part, still quite co-dependant. Our expectations and tolerances are certainly at different levels, and understandably so since we are two separate people (but it's still very frustrating). I feel like he doesn't quite understand the severity of our situation (WE'RE HAVING A BABY AND I NEED HELP!) and is going about in zombie mode. Here's why...

- I still work 9-9.5 hour days at work in addition to commuting 2 hours RT AND I've still managed to cook us a healthy, homemade dinner every night. AND breakfast on the weekends. HELLO...a little help here!

- He'll start the laundry and forget (always) to transfer it to the dryer. The act of doing the laundry is moot at this point since we ALWAYS have to re-wash everything since it SMELLS like mildew!

- After spending time downloading comforting music for my labor CD, I asked him to simply burn the music to a disc. He did, and I asked him if he tested it to see if it worked. He got upset at this and asked why I need to test it. Well, I tested it and it DIDN'T work. The music never got burned to the disc the first time, which is why WE TEST THINGS.

- As I'm slightly panicked with the "contractions" and walking in circles around the house, Kent has graciously and miraculously went back to sleep.

- He offered to babysit his co-worker's chihuahua that has problems with seizures and convulsions. Um, hello...we need as much rest as possible, and incurring yet another responsibility at this point is a little overwhelming.

- To help with the "contractions" I told Kent that I was going for a walk...hint, hint (WAKE UP!). He tells me to take Oliver with me and goes back to sleep. WTF.

- Rather than going for a walk, I've been downstairs washing the dishes, folding laundry, and reading up on what to expect during labor. AND writing this post (which is actually really making me feel a lot better...). I can hear him snoring right now...

Okay, I'm going to stop now since I may not be able to stop if I continue listing my grievances. As you can all tell, I am on the verge of losing "it"....whatever "it" may be. And at this point, I hope "it's" the baby since my mind is definitely the next thing on the list....