Graduation
Ava and I graduated from our mom's group yesterday. Mom's group has been an absolute savior for us as it really helped us (baby and mom) transition into motherhood/parenthood. For those of you that don't know about mom's group, it's something the hospital offers for any new mom's and their baby. New mom's are welcome to attend a weekly meeting at the hospital with other mom's and their babies to socialize and develop a support network. There is also a facilitator during the 2 hour group meetings to help us stay on topic or answer questions. It is here that I met my wonderful new "mom friends". We sit in a circle with our babies and take turns discussing anything on our minds - postpartum issues, questions on baby (sleeping is a big one!), body issues, health concerns, note comparisons on baby gear, etc. Not only did the group function to help in an informational and practical way, it was so much more helpful in an emotional way.
Ava and I attended our first meeting when she was just three weeks old. It was after my family had left town after Ava was born and there was this in between period of being alone for a week or so before my mother-in-law came. Being a first time mom, I remember feeling so overwhelmed, confused, and scared to be alone with a tiny helpless baby. Come Monday, when my family was gone and Kent went back to work, I remember not knowing what to do with myself. I didn't know any other moms, I didn't have friends with young children, let alone friends that stayed home during the day on a work week. With the direct support from family now gone, I remember putting Ava in her car seat and driving to the hospital alone, for the first time ever. That in itself was a big deal, since I had never driven with her by myself. Another milestone at that point was getting dressed (robe and pj's don't count) and being somewhat presentable (translation - teeth were brushed, face was washed). I remember having trouble even getting ready since I didn't know what to do with Ava while I was getting ready! Regardless, we somehow safely made it to the hospital where we went to our first group meeting.
I'll never forget the sea of kind, tired, smiling faces staring back at me and feeling an instant shared connection between everyone. Without saying a word, I knew they understood. Since I was new, I was the first to talk, and clearly remember saying "Hi, I'm Liane and this is Ava. She is three weeks old and this is the first time I've taken her out of the house all by myself". This probably sounds normal to most people, but at mom's group, I was met with applause and smiles all around. Everyone had been through this same experience - the terror of being on your own with your new baby and actually driving somewhere for the first time. I felt so relieved I cried. Everything that came out of my mouth was jumbled and fast. I'mscaredIdon'tknowwhattodoallalonewithababy, pleasehelp! I remember people giving me their phone numbers and inviting me out to do things like coffee, walking, and playdates. There really is life after baby! I also remember seeing a lot of older babies (5/6 months) and not being able to comprehend Ava being that age one day...so full of energy and personality. I left that first group meeting a little early to meet Kent for lunch at this teriyaki place, feeling accomplished and excited. I knew I would be coming back every week thereafter with something to look forward to. That's how it all started.
Flash forward six months and we're graduating from mom's group. Graduation is mandatory when your baby turns six months, so the group doesn't get too big and allows room for new mom's and babies. I remember watching others graduate at one point and feeling anxiety thinking about our turn one day. Well, that was yesterday, and believe it or not, we were ready. We still need the support, but not directly from the weekly group meetings anymore. Our time with the group allowed me to meet other amazing moms, friends really, where we get together on our own almost every day of the week for coffee, lunch, movies, walks, playdates, and other fun outings. We established our own social network that I'm so thankful for. Ava has lots of friends right around her age that she loves to play with. In fact, she even has a favorite...little miss McKenzie!
On our last day yesterday, I was asked to address a few things to the group - advice to new mom's, what I learned, and how motherhood has changed me. My answer: I learned that you can never prepare enough for something like motherhood. And believe me, I prepared. You can read anything and everything, but there are still things that are to be learned by doing. Ask for help when you need it. It's okay to be weak or say that you can't do it alone. Reach out to others and stay connected, it's the best way to stay healthy and happy both mentally and physically especially if you plan to stay at home. Enjoy your baby and live in the moment...it goes so quickly. And try not to sweat the small stuff. Personally, that's the biggest thing that motherhood has changed with me. It's not worth the energy to worry about every little thing, although it's hard not to do. There are better things than making sure the house is spot clean or that every dish is washed and in it's place. There's always time and it can be done later. I realized this just recently when we came back from our trip to Seattle. Kent was surprised that I didn't frantically unpack everything that very night and put stuff away. I just kind of shrugged and said I'll do it slowly throughout the week. And you know what, things did get put away and done, and I had time with my family on Sunday night after our trip to relax.
Yesterday's graduation included me and Ava and two other set of mom's and babies, whom I'm very close to and fond of - Amber and Max & Sky and McKenzie. With the six of us leaving the group yesterday, it was also the first day for 3 other new moms and their babies; all quietly sitting there with their bundled newborns with anxious looks on their tired faces. They were probably looking at us with that same amazement I had just six months ago. I made sure to smile and welcome them to the group as this "new blood" will be what carries this on for the next half year. Funny how cyclical life really is. Hello and goodbye, I'm certain we'll all meet again soon. It's been a wonderful six months.
Ava and McKenzie
Yes, we are wearing matching dresses. Thanks Christina!
Ava and I attended our first meeting when she was just three weeks old. It was after my family had left town after Ava was born and there was this in between period of being alone for a week or so before my mother-in-law came. Being a first time mom, I remember feeling so overwhelmed, confused, and scared to be alone with a tiny helpless baby. Come Monday, when my family was gone and Kent went back to work, I remember not knowing what to do with myself. I didn't know any other moms, I didn't have friends with young children, let alone friends that stayed home during the day on a work week. With the direct support from family now gone, I remember putting Ava in her car seat and driving to the hospital alone, for the first time ever. That in itself was a big deal, since I had never driven with her by myself. Another milestone at that point was getting dressed (robe and pj's don't count) and being somewhat presentable (translation - teeth were brushed, face was washed). I remember having trouble even getting ready since I didn't know what to do with Ava while I was getting ready! Regardless, we somehow safely made it to the hospital where we went to our first group meeting.
I'll never forget the sea of kind, tired, smiling faces staring back at me and feeling an instant shared connection between everyone. Without saying a word, I knew they understood. Since I was new, I was the first to talk, and clearly remember saying "Hi, I'm Liane and this is Ava. She is three weeks old and this is the first time I've taken her out of the house all by myself". This probably sounds normal to most people, but at mom's group, I was met with applause and smiles all around. Everyone had been through this same experience - the terror of being on your own with your new baby and actually driving somewhere for the first time. I felt so relieved I cried. Everything that came out of my mouth was jumbled and fast. I'mscaredIdon'tknowwhattodoallalonewithababy, pleasehelp! I remember people giving me their phone numbers and inviting me out to do things like coffee, walking, and playdates. There really is life after baby! I also remember seeing a lot of older babies (5/6 months) and not being able to comprehend Ava being that age one day...so full of energy and personality. I left that first group meeting a little early to meet Kent for lunch at this teriyaki place, feeling accomplished and excited. I knew I would be coming back every week thereafter with something to look forward to. That's how it all started.
Flash forward six months and we're graduating from mom's group. Graduation is mandatory when your baby turns six months, so the group doesn't get too big and allows room for new mom's and babies. I remember watching others graduate at one point and feeling anxiety thinking about our turn one day. Well, that was yesterday, and believe it or not, we were ready. We still need the support, but not directly from the weekly group meetings anymore. Our time with the group allowed me to meet other amazing moms, friends really, where we get together on our own almost every day of the week for coffee, lunch, movies, walks, playdates, and other fun outings. We established our own social network that I'm so thankful for. Ava has lots of friends right around her age that she loves to play with. In fact, she even has a favorite...little miss McKenzie!
On our last day yesterday, I was asked to address a few things to the group - advice to new mom's, what I learned, and how motherhood has changed me. My answer: I learned that you can never prepare enough for something like motherhood. And believe me, I prepared. You can read anything and everything, but there are still things that are to be learned by doing. Ask for help when you need it. It's okay to be weak or say that you can't do it alone. Reach out to others and stay connected, it's the best way to stay healthy and happy both mentally and physically especially if you plan to stay at home. Enjoy your baby and live in the moment...it goes so quickly. And try not to sweat the small stuff. Personally, that's the biggest thing that motherhood has changed with me. It's not worth the energy to worry about every little thing, although it's hard not to do. There are better things than making sure the house is spot clean or that every dish is washed and in it's place. There's always time and it can be done later. I realized this just recently when we came back from our trip to Seattle. Kent was surprised that I didn't frantically unpack everything that very night and put stuff away. I just kind of shrugged and said I'll do it slowly throughout the week. And you know what, things did get put away and done, and I had time with my family on Sunday night after our trip to relax.
Yesterday's graduation included me and Ava and two other set of mom's and babies, whom I'm very close to and fond of - Amber and Max & Sky and McKenzie. With the six of us leaving the group yesterday, it was also the first day for 3 other new moms and their babies; all quietly sitting there with their bundled newborns with anxious looks on their tired faces. They were probably looking at us with that same amazement I had just six months ago. I made sure to smile and welcome them to the group as this "new blood" will be what carries this on for the next half year. Funny how cyclical life really is. Hello and goodbye, I'm certain we'll all meet again soon. It's been a wonderful six months.
The Grads
Ava and McKenzie
Yes, we are wearing matching dresses. Thanks Christina!
posted by dabump at
8:03 AM
2 Comments:
I am so touched by how much both you and Ava have grown! Ava in size and you in motherly wisdom. I love what you wrote about your Mom's group. What a wonderful circle of friends you have to share in one of Life's most amazing gifts to women: Motherhood.
Thank you, Mom's Group for taking such good care of Liane and Ava. Nanamo
P.S. I love the matching dresses! You both look lovely! Good choice, Christina!
You both look super adorable in the matching mommy/daughter dresses!
big sis
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